Archives - March 2003

Look at those tiny fingers that can't even wrap around the gun. This is crazy. I found this picture from the ninemsn site and once you've clicked on the picture, it says to click on the link below for the related story but there is none - just a link to a whole bunch of stories. I don't know why I am so particularly interested in this. I think because 14 years ago, this would have been considered cute during my 3rd Grade Halloween parade but now, now it's just disturbing.

People in your company think you are unreal, they are hallucinating. You are creativly inspiring aswell as you make people delirious and delusional. You make time appear distorted, colours appear brighter, sounds more sharper and things seem to change shape. Sometimes people are frightened by you and get scared of everything. You mess people up, one minute they could be laughing the next they are sobbing. Sometimes you disress people so much they try to commit suicide. When people have spent alot of time with you, they get a 'flashback', they could be on a train comming home from work and suddenly start mocking the bloke next to them who appears to have grown a long hairy snout like a rat.

Find Out If You Were A Drug, What You Would Be!

quiz by ravenritings

In the past few weeks the fire alarms have sounded numerous times at uni. All were false alarms which I was actually grateful for because I recall being too exhausted to keep my eyes open in class. During one of those times, we all headed outside the building and waited in the courtyard. The lecturer (that same old man who couldn't get my name right) decided he wanted to continue his lecture outside, so he stood up on one of those huge concrete square slabs that students sit on and everyone gathered around. Why he chose to do this 10 meters from the building, I don't know. Defeats the purpose really, since the alarms are still going off and they're pretty damn loud :) I couldn't hear a word he was saying as I was on the outer edge. It was funny because it was drizzling and no one had umbrellas plus other students were wondering what was happening so they hurried on over to have a look. It must have looked like a circus freak was performing :D

The other time was last friday. The alarms sounded and no one moved for about 5 minutes. We needed to practice skills, you see :P What with exams comin up and all..it seemed more of a deathly threat if we didn't practice than if we got out of the building. We got out eventually, and all the students waited just outside the building doors (don't say it, it's coming :P ) knowing it was a false alarm. Five minutes later a security guard comes toward us shouting 'GET AWAY FROM THE BUILDING!! IN THE EVENT OF A FIRE, BOMBSCARE, OR EMERGENCY, YOU NEVER STAND NEAR THE DOOR OF A BUILDING!'. There was a bit more shouting and then everyone moved away like half asleep sheep.

What the hell is up with this damn downtime. My site was down for another 24 hours and today I see it's back up but it's taken me back in time about a week. My entries are missing and so are my emails. Plus I had new email dated from last week. Grr..driving me nuts!

Last night I went out for dinner with my brother, his friend, my two nice cousins and my cousin's bestfriend and his girlfriend. We tried out this steamboat place which was excellent! The wait was long because we lost our reservation but when the food came, man was it good :D We were all so hungry, we ordered TONS of food and when they brought it out we knew we'd ordered way too much. Surprisingly, we finished it all - about 17 plates of food =) Mind you, this is all uncooked food so it tends to shrink once you dip it in the boiling soup thing :D

Uni has been hectic. The tutors/lecturers are confusing the hell out of us kids because they themselves aren't too organised. They told us we have an exam this week, then they said it was two weeks, then next week. Then they added that the people have earlier tutorials might do their exam the first week back from holidays. It's frustrating I tell ya. To be on the safe side, I think I'm going to prepare for the worst and learn everything this week.

Yesterday I skipped all my classes and studied in the library. I sat near the window so I could look out at the people, which I did, for way too much time. I was pretty impressed by how the girls dressed ..I like the jeans and baby-T look. It's funny because I realised that any deviation from this came from asian girls. They really like carrying off the shoulder bags with huge winnie-the-pooh pictures or Snoopy on them. I finally decided to call it quits with the observing when one of them walked past wearing bright blue socks in her strappy sandals, a skirt with huge rainbow-colored stripes around it and some crazy top :D Actually, I did see one aussie chick wearing a mini skirt, with a baby-t on top as well as a white singlet/tank that was cut across the middle of her boobs, over this top. It looked really weird because it was crinkled where she had cut it. I'm not sure what she did with the remainder of the material but I did notice she was wearing two white tube things on both her arms, just over her elbows. As for the guys, I've never seen the Ivy-league vest accessorised with slippers before :D

I've decided to change hosts. Too much downtime plus absolutely no response to a single email I've sent since August. I've no idea how this will go since I need my current crapass hosts to change the DNS info which they probably won't do. So I'm not expecting much..in fact, I have a horrible feeling I'm going to watch this domain disintegrate in a few months when I don't renew with this company. I was getting quite attached too =(

So my site's been down two days. Want to know what's happened since? Nothing major really :) I took my bro out for lunch on his b'day. His friend tagged along. We tried this new place and had noodles which were terrible =) That night I finished class late and was driving around to get my brother some flowers as my mom requested. What kind of flowers do you get a guy anyway? The roses were all dying and chrysanthemums just seemed so...grandma-ish, so I got him some orchids. There really wasn't much choice =)

My sister has been pissing me off. I think I unintentionally made her feel pretty left out. She had wanted to go out for dinner to celebrate but my brother was out having drinks with some friends and wanted to have an easy night in, so we ordered food in instead. After we ate, I asked my bro if he wanted his present and I ran upstairs to get it. He really liked it, and the card too..(for the first time ever, I actually wrote something heartfelt and meaningful in his card - just that I wanted him to know that I was proud of how hard he was trying to sort his life out and get this business of his started). My sister was a little stunned because she probably assumed I didn't get him anything yet. She's dilly-dallying around too much and I didn't want to get him a present three weeks late. We goofed around and took some pics after that but we look utterly hideous so I'm not posting any =)

This old lecturer we have is supposed to teach us about patient sensitivity and how to take a patient history. Don't make the patient feel bad for having the problems they have and don't laugh or cringe at things they say. Basically, just be wary of everything and make them feel comfortable. We also have this man for our neurology prac class. During which he came up to me while I was trying to do a plantar reflex test on my friend (who plays the role of the patient) and asked me what I was doing, and what my name was. I told him my name and he goes 'WHAT!?', so I sort of smirked/laughed (What is this? The 54395834th time?!) and told him again. To which he looked completely stunned, like 'wtf kind of name or language IS that?' and looked at my patient and then he goes 'well, whatever..' at the same time as I said 'nevermind' and proceeded to doing the test that I had just done on my patient, to compare.

Way to go old chap. In front of a lot of other students too. Once again, I feel like an outcast.

But I shouldn't. Because I am going to be a better chiropractor than you and the rest of them. Why? Because I'll be all for the uncommonly named patients and because 'man, us nips can thrust damn fast' according to Bushpig =)

Waking up early is taking a toll on me. Last night I wanted to watch Survivor III and then read some notes or go to bed right after. The phone rang while it was on and I said to my sister not to answer it (thinking it would be my bro's friend, who always calls up) but she did anyway. It was my annoying cousin. She wanted to come over and get her boxes of stuff right away. So my sister hesitated for a moment and then said yes. Now the thing is, my sister and I have to go to bed early because we both have to wake up super early. Two minutes before she's about to arrive, my sister conveniently decides to get in the shower and make herself unavailable to answer the door. Pissed me off. I had to help carry the boxes out and talk to my cousin etc. When she left and I was heading back to my room, I saw my sister had turned her lights out. Grr. I was fuming. I went to make a phonecall and she interrupted by knocking on my door. Calling out my name in this sorry tone that made me think she was going to apologise. So I opened the door to receive this apology and this is what I got - "oh, I just wanted to ask who got voted out in Survivor just now..".

Just kidding:P But I almost wanted to give her one :D It's not fair to inconvenience others while you gain extra minutes of sleep. It's not effing right. So don't do it. Not that I told her that, but I did say that if this kinda thing happened again and she had to sleep early and she knew I had to as well, then to tell the person to come another day.

And with all that being said, it's my Dad's birthday today =) He's in Hong Kong right now because his boss has no concept of health. Work them like dogs, 6 days a week, pneumonia outbreak...what pneumonia outbreak?? Who cares. Must work. Make money. Blah.

Well my site got hacked into again. By someone whose english is terrible and cannot spell. Although, that person wants world peace so I suppose at least he has some heart? Hmm..

I haven't been able to reply my emails for some reason..sorry guys! I keep getting error messages.

Uni is so unorganised. The assignment wasn't due today. There are rumors we have two exams next week. Grr..everyone's running around like chickens with their heads cut off. There's a huge number of us that haven't done muscle testing in class because of the year we enrolled and how classes were scheduled. Anyways, so now we're at a loss for this vital knowledge and upon speaking to the unit coordinator, we got nothing but childish behaviour and a lack of willingness to help. Do tutors not realise that part of their role is to help a student in need? Gees. It's not like a huge group of students are all asking for 2 hours each of your time. Just two small hours, one time, for the whole group of us is all we're asking. Plus think of all the good vibes you'd be getting and the Christmas cards and stuff ;)

Oh well. There was a guy coming in to give a talk about the 10 things you won't learn at uni..it's all chirostuff. I wanted to go but they changed the time to later. 7-9pm. I didn't think I would last since we'd had class all day and I practiced skills stuff during my breaks. My brother was supposed to pick me up and he came pretty damn late. Around 7pm. I wrote a letter to Salami in the meantime. I like doing things like that, where it's unexpected and somewhat of a nice surprise :D It's nice because he recognises it's from me the moment he sees the envelope. I am an envelope FREAK. It is my passion, my obsession, my downfall. I get itchy fingers when I see envelopes. I just have to touch them all and buy them when I really cannot resist =) I'm crazy about plain, funky colored envelopes =) Ergh..don't get me started =)

I can't believe I am going into Week FOUR of uni tomorrow. SO much to get done and absolutely no time to read everything and retain it. I wonder what chiropractors that would make us...

I am enjoying it though. Surprisingly, I am not as stressed out as I was the past years and I seem to make time to relax a little. Still doing my daily yoga in the morning :D That must be it. It's the only thing I've changed since last year. Actually, now that I think about it, I've changed quite a few things. I haven't hung around waiting for the boy to talk to me. I still see him online sometimes and wish he'd say hi first but there's a huge part of me that's glad he doesn't because I need to move on. I really do. I think I'm almost there. Heck, it has only been five years :P It would be nice if I could move a little faster.

Instead of starting on my assignment, I went out today for yum-cha with my sis. Was meeting her in the city and every which way I tried to get into the street that the carpark was in, it was blocked by police and policecars. I don't usually have the guts to talk to strangers, especially a man of authority but for some strange reason, I had no qualms about doing it today. I guess because I was running late and also because the one policeman that was blocking the second entrance I attempted looked like he could be everyone's dorky asian cousin or something. Really, he looked kind of silly. So I wound down the car window and I shouted out an 'excuse me!' and asked him if the entire road was closed. He was telling me which areas were closed so I asked if I could come in from the other side and he goes 'uhh..it's a one way street'. I immediately said 'Oh oops! Yeah that's right!'. I felt like the biggest dumbass..you know? Almost like I knew what was happening but was trying to find any excuse to pick up the guy - that kind of dumbass feeling. Ugh. Anyways. Parked pretty far away and had to walk a distance to meet my sis. The wait was really long and we were starving so it didn't help the situation when they put us at a table that was surrounded by other tables. How the HELL are the trolleys of food supposed to come to us?! They're not, that's what. No one notices you're there. We basically had to stand up and call them over or walk over to them.

Back home and with every intention to start my assignment, I decided that I could spare some time to talk to Salami since our talk time has been reduced immensely this year. Some time turned out to be 4 hours. Yesterday we had this long discussion about terrorists. I won't go into it all now..maybe later. But it left me feeling that I had disappointed him because I didn't seem to feel the same way he did about it all. I'm not going to change my views for him. I would have for the boy though. Now there's the difference. This is a working relationship. Give and take. Not just give, give, give and die.

I'm bored. That's not to say I don't have lots of work to do..but everyone is out and I'm home and alone and just plain bored.

My brother's celebrating his b'day tonight with some friends and my cousins. At first I thought I wasn't invited..it being just a close friends thing and he probably wouldn't want his little sister tagging along. But then he invited my cousins tonight and asked if I wanted to go. I don't know why I'm not going..tired I guess and not in the mood to drink a lot and sing (that's right, he booked a karaoke room thing cause he's never done it in Sydney before. Seeing a whole bunch of aussies try and sing would be a fun sight I'm sure =) ). I really should get this assignment done and out of the way. I haven't even started =(

Hmm..yes I realise it must look kind of freakish and odd seeing a girl hold a spine (plastic!) so closely to her. When I first looked at cadavers, I kept thinking that I'd never be able to have boyfriend and hug him and all that because I'd forever be seeing him inside out, or without skin. I'm so glad it's worn off me =D

I am currently battling a fly. I'm armed with nothing but a flexible ruler and I think I've just strained my arm with that last huge swat I gave the air :P This is not just any ordinary fly. It is playing games with me. Flying in and out of my room like it's doing rounds of a track. I was facing the center of my room, waiting for it and I gave up, turned back to my desk and there it is, for the second time, sitting right in the middle of my textbook. Before I can even blink, it's gone to do another lap of my room. Aarrrrrgh damn fly. Stop torturing me and piss off already!

Something rather funny happened today. I wanted to go to this talk about the World Congress Chiropractic thing but I couldn't find the room. They had changed it last minute. On my way there, I decided to use the bathroom first. There were only two cubicles and the other was taken. So I'm in there and everything is quiet. About 30 seconds later, I hear a 'do you want me to pass some toilet paper over there???' coming from the other cubicle. I had to stop and do a double take with that. I wasn't sure who she was talking to but I realised there's no one else in there but us. Hmm. At first I said yes, thinking there was no toilet paper, but there actually was, so I said no. When we were both at the sink, I said 'thanks though'.

Friday night and I'm home. I actually want to be. Not sure about wanting to study though. I'm kind of killing time until Salami gets into work. Maybe we can talk a little.

Also, it's my brother's birthday in a few days but I've only got this weekend to get him something. He's turning 26. Any ideas?? I'm not good at shopping for boys :(

The war has started. I'm speechless. Well not completely, I just don't have anything meaningful to say about it. I can't believe I'm alive to be a part of it. It all seemed like far off stories when we learned of past wars in old, faded history books. One day this will be studied by kids not yet born and they'll have trouble remembering the details and the dates and we'll still be trying to forget it.

I get really paranoid about doing make-up or hair etc in public bathrooms. This was my small dilemma today as I waited for this mother, friend and son to get out of the bathroom. The damn kid was standing outside my cubicle, trying to open the door. I feared he'd stick his head under, like I used to do when I was 4. That's ok, I thought. I'll just step on it. :D

Anyways, when I thought I had the all clear, another woman walked in. She was quite large and she started pulling her pants down OUTSIDE the cubicle. She looks at me through the mirror's reflection and continues to pull her underwear down. I quickly avert my eyes but there are mirrors everywhere and I can still see what she's doing. She backs into the cubicle and sits down and starts to do her business, while looking at me through the mirror, which is directly opposite the whole row of cubicles. I was outta there in a jiffy.

Tried the other bathroom around the corner but there were people there so I gave up and left. I'm pathetic :) Ah well. Each to their own eh?

We worked on static palpation today in class. Contents of the axilla being one of them. I don't know which is worse- sticking my fingers up a guy's hairy, sweaty armpit...or sticking my fingers up a girl's armpit and feeling spiky bits of hair poking back at you. =I

Spoke to Salami before class. I called him ..which is how it always goes since it's cheaper to call from here than it is there..err..that's a whole 'nother issue with me though...so we'll just avoid that for now. It was nice, the convo :) He makes me laugh and smile. I wonder if he imagines how I'm sitting and reacting to the things he says. My facial expressions and whatnot. I wonder if he knows that when he's talking, I'm smiling and perfectly content listening. I wonder if he knows that I'm still smiling while driving to uni and during class when I recall bits and pieces of what we talked about. I like that we work so well off each other. That we can joke a lot and we can be serious all in one and we know how far to go with things. They say that's a secret language that's known and felt only by those in the relationship. Hmm...I love him =)

I came across this test and decided to do it since Salami loves the Simpsons and thinks I don't know all that much about it :P. I've no time to do anything but somehow I manage to squeeze in time for these such important things :P

Argh. Reebok keeps calling my phone and I just don't want to pick it up. I'm tired of people coming to me and asking for my notes. I'm tired of people calling me up and asking if I could just grab these notes online and fax it to them. If I could just do this, if I could just do that. If you could just damn well get your own shit together, then maybe I could too and I wouldn't be stressing my brains out over such little things.

I was telling my brother tonight that I just don't feel it's fair that I have been doing all the cooking and cleaning and taking the garbage out etc. I do feel bad for my sister having to work 60 hours a week but hey, she's earning all this money and come the end of the day she's too tired to cook or whatever, and has to sleep early (as do I) and then come the end of the week, she wants to spend her only 'free-time' relaxing and so anything she does is just for HER. Doesn't occur to her to help out with the housework and cooking. Doesn't occur to her to maybe go stock up on food if she still expects me to cook it for her. Not that she expects it, she just hopes I do..and I feel too guilty not to.

This is what I cannot stand. My friends who are working try to put me down because I'm not (cept for the things I make and sell online, which isn't going too well at the moment) and therefore that entitles them to my notes? That entitles them to all my effort of waking up early and getting there early (I have earlier classes than all of them) and frantically scribbling down everything I can?!

My brother says I have to be selfish. I shouldn't feel guilty. It's not MY fault that they're in the situation they're in, as selfish as that sounds, it really isn't. I shouldn't drag myself down for them. I find it hard enough to cope as it is and I have it pretty good. And he says it's not my responsibility to cook for my sis. Let her take care of herself because I just don't have the time to be doing all this stuff for her and everyone else. I couldn't believe he said that. I can't believe someone is sticking up for me. It's been awhile.

Grr, not re-reading this to check for any mistakes because it'll just cause my emotions to flare up again.

Last night my bro cooked a delicious feast of Malaysian food! The four of us (him, my two cousins - no, not the annoying one, and myself) had a good time helping out in the kitchen and drinking beer. What is it with guys and not having to wash or peel mushrooms?! My brother says 'They're FINE like that. It's just PEAT, not dirt.' Hello!? Eww..who wants to eat PEAT let alone dirt?! I must marry a cook. Someone who understands about food, cleanliness and hygiene and how they go together:P

We ate like we'd not eaten in weeks. Like a bunch of starved monkeys. That's what happens when you haven't had good Malaysian cooking in a loooong time! Nobody spoke for the first minute =D

Too much food and wine left us bloated and tired. My bro left with one cousin to go play pool, while the other one stayed at the house with me. We watched part of the Brady Bunch movie that was showing on tv. My cousin is so sweet. She's like the good ole small town innocent girl who laughs at some really dumb things :) Here I am rolling my eyes at the poor acting and she's saying 'oh..heehee..so cute one!' (said in Malaysian accent)

Ahh..but I appreciate I good houseguest! I really do. She helped me clean up the place and rinse the dishes for the dishwasher etc. I always feel like I should tone down my harsh sarcasm when she's around. As in move towards permanently doing that =/ EVERYONE bitches right? Every girl I mean. Oh c'mon, enlighten me. I subtly tried to get her to say SOMETHING...ANYTHING about my other cousin (I'm terrible!) because I wanted to know 1. what she thought about her and 2. if she was capable of bitching =)

I thought a spider crawled down my neck. In an extremely fast, spiralling fashion. Awoke me with fright and my heart started beating really HARD, then fast. Then I freaked out wondering if it was real or just a dream and getting myself paranoid. Where was it now? On my pillow? On the pillow I was hugging? On me?! Sat up in bed practically swatting my arms everywhere. Heart still beating too fast, I couldn't go back to sleep, so I decided to turn the comp on and take a bathroom break. The boy was on three hours earlier and I was curious to see if he still would be on since he seemed to be up pretty late when he IS around. I've still not spoken to him nor has he spoken to me. I'm still repeating my mantra of 'I WILL win this game against him.'. So far so good. He's not around though, which makes it easier:P

However, I was surprised to see Salami on! How can I be talking to him and entering my thoughts down in here at the same time, you ask? Well I'm not. This comes first. I'm dedicated to my site. :D

Well that's the excuse I will use because I'm too ashamed to say that he's getting ready for some fantasy baseball draft thing :P I told him about why I'm up and he didn't say much. Thought it was funny. Maybe I was too tired to realise it at the time but now I'm wishing he had said just a little more. Cared just a little more.

I'm winning my battle against the boy but I'm losing to a virtual baseball draw and sleep. I don't know how to feel about that =(

It's funny how a colon and an end parenthesis can give me those butterflies in my tummy. Especially when they're followed immediately one after another, like so - :)

Well maybe not full butterflies, but something like those tiny fireflies you see in cartoons.

And I know, that it's rather sad we're communicating through email and online messaging, but it's all we've got right now and we make do. Which is why it's so amazingly nice that the words he writes have the ability to dance on screen, float through the air and pull me into another state of mind. One filled with daydreams, brilliant colors and those small, orange flavored chocolates.

Hah! I just found my journal entry in the archives regarding that whole 'bendy girl' thing:

This other girl was stretching in front of the huge mirrors and using firstly the railing and then the gym mat. I got so irritated by it I ended up going right next to her and using those slant boards and did two sets of sit-ups. Not that she cared but at the time I just wanted to do something that would say 'hey, I don't give a damn about what you're doing, you super-bendy girl.'

That whole week or two that I was having trouble viewing my site and logging in to my control panel, I think my host was revamping a few things. I see there's a new 'Keyword Search' section in my Webstats.

I don't know how they found me, but I now seem to be on the mailing list for Chiropractic catalogue junkmail :P

Give the pet to your young patients so they can "play doctor". With the pet resting on its tummy, instruct the child to feel for the spine and give a little push. The pet's back will sound out a little clicking noise making the child aware of what an adjustment may sound like.

Then, have the child hold the pet while being adjusted. Adjusta-Pet will become a comfortin friend that kids will look for every time they return.

You know, that doesn't seem to be the only crazy thing going on. I've got a Craig David tune stuck in my head and my brother is singing to Nora Jones. Maybe the Adjusta-Pet isn't such a bad idea afterall.

Note: This is actually my brother's X'mas present. Yes he's 25 but he loves the super soft bear I have so I thought I'd get him one to put his grubby hands on instead of dirtying mine :P

Oh, you have to check out Raymond's page, especially his voice and what he says. It cracks me up. Not his voice, but the way he sounds so excited when he says the '..this is Raymond' part..with the higher tonation right in the middle of his name..kinda like he's talking to kids :D Hehee, sorry Raymond =D

Oh dear me :P I think Raymond is taking his revenge on me now. I hear hail or something hitting my windows :P

So yesterday in class I thought I lost my pen. Then I realised I must have left my notepad at home. When I got home, I realised that I had left it in the skills room earlier that morning, with the damn pen attached. Argh! Reebok called that night to ask me some stuff and I asked if he could grab my notepad the next day since he had class earlier than I did. Today he calls me up and says he's in the skills room and the notepad isn't there. He asked some tutors if it had been handed in. No luck. So I worried a little bit and then decided to check out the chiro office for a lost and found. It was already closing hours and I had a class to go to in 5 minutes. It was either I check the student union's lost and found OR go move my car which was illegally parked (I swear my damn uni needs much MORE parking!). I opted for the car since I didn't want a hefty fine (already spending close to 2 grand on books and equipment!). Class was pretty good. Note: to be a good chiro, you need to have correct set up, lock up and amplitude. It's not all about force, guys :P Plus gees, is it not OBVIOUS that my body is not equivalent to sylvester stallone's?! I feel like my humeral head is hanging out of it's socket =( Future chiro patients don't realise when they're coming into our clinic for help, that we're probably worse off than them after being guinea pigs for adjustments for 5 years! I wouldn't be surprised if one day my head fell off to one side, which would be the left side since the majority of students are right handed and always practice on their 'good' side :P

After class I asked another bunch of tutors if anyone had handed in my notepad. The tell me to go check the skills room where I left it and I mention that somene already did and it wasn't there. I don't know why, but the tutor winced at that and told me to go check it. I don't know why, but I did what he said. Grumbling all the way because I thought it was pointless, plus it required walking to the other building :P

I get to the skills room, walk into an empty room and badabing. My notepad AND pen are sitting exactly where I left it. My first thoughts were 'grrr! Reebok!! How fricken dumb can you be!? It is RIGHT THERE. How could you miss it?!?!'. My second reaction was 'HEY. It's in the EXACT position I left it. What?! Why didn't anyone look at it?! Why didn't anyone take it?! What's wrong with my notes?? They're bloody good notes, damnit!'

Why is it that when you're far away from someone and missing them to pieces, you'll rummage through your things and pull out something they once owned or still own and press it close to you for comfort? I've probably touched this stuffed animal and washed this shirt so many times that there's not the slightest hint of him on it. And yet it still comforts me knowing that it once did.

Well Salami's back from Chicago. I was in class all day so I haven't had the chance to talk to him yet. I'm glad he's back =)

At 8:01pm this lady from American Express called and left a message on the machine (do you remember me saying I have a fear of answering the phone?:P It comes and goes. Right then my fear was exaccerbated because there were two calls in a row :P). In a super nasally voice, she said that it was very important that my brother call them back BEFORE 8pm today. Uhm woman..unless you're calling from another State, I'd suggest you take a little peep at the clock!

Malcom in the Middle is on. I love that show but I'm forgoing it to further educate myself on orthopaedic testing. Yay =(

Five minutes ago. I think I hit the lowest of low points. I told myself that I would not let this get the better of me and it's only been one week and already there are tears, heartache, confusion and frustration. I've spent all day reading and I'm still nowhere close to done. I cannot possibly read faster, retain knowledge faster, work faster. I don't know how I am going to cope =( I'm scared. I wish he was here....I'd like nothing more than a big hug =(

Sister's party is still going on downstairs. Her bf took care of all the food (catered by someone from his workplace who used to be in the business!) and cake and this afternoon my sister and him set up a projection screen outside - using MY trampoline to hang a white sheet off to make a screen :P I'm done for the night though. Come back to the safety of my room :D It was pretty good, though she lost quite a few people to wedding functions tonight. Strange how many people we know seem to be tying the knot this year.

The projection screen was a great idea. Played a number of old faves tonight - Indiana Jones, Ferris Beuller and Spaceballs! I haven't seen those since I was a munchkin! The cake was delicious! Chocolate of course =) Her bf and I burnt ourselves trying to light the sparklers. We tried to make popcorn too, with the microwave, but it didn't work =( In one bag, we had 6 that popped =/ So we tried to use the pan and burnt them =(

Mom kinda bugged me today when she called from Malaysia. Said she'd been trying to get a hold of me because she wanted me to get my sister flowers for her b'day. I've been at uni, I tell her and shops aren't open when I start class in the morning and by the time I finish, shops are closed. Plus I'm dead at the end of the day. It's not my fault she got her days all mixed up and missed my sister's bday! But I felt really guilty after the conversation and found myself driving around the suburb trying to find a florist. The one I tried had closed down so I drove around somemore and ended up at a mall and got flowers from outside the supermarket. They were nice though. Almost felt like buying myself a bunch :P

I was the designated camerawoman tonight I guess. I used my dig cam and half the pics are blurry for some reason. Going to have a lot of angry people at me =I

I tell these people that I only accept direct deposit, money order or payment via Paypal, so why is it that I find CASH stickytaped to cardboard and checks in the mailbox???! Argh! Some aussies can be really dumb.

Thursday night I had a nightmare. It involved mice, my mom, and all these other things which I can't remember. I woke up at around 4:30am and then I froze because I could hear something right above my head, in the roof. Tap tap tap tap. Tap tap taptap. Tap tap tap tap tap. It sounded like a beast with a huge claw, slowly tapping against hard plastic. My heart almost jumped out of my ribs =( I'm hoping it was just a possum or something but usually you can hear them running around because we have metal beams. This was slow tapping with odd pauses in between.

I see the boy log in almost every day. We've not spoken in a week. Now it becomes almost like a contest - lets see who talks to the other first. I am going to win. I AM going to win. Well I am:P Besides, it's good that I not talk to him. Life is much better if I have one less person treating me with no respect.

Whoops. I see I've completely missed out my sister's b'day there with no entry on the 7th. I sent my dad a message last night, as he's in Miami on business right now, saying that her bday was ending in 45 minutes in case he forgot due to the time difference. He replied 'you just saved my life with that msg!'. Hahaha. That's right. She would've knocked his socks out if he forgot. Now if she really knew how he remembered.. =P

I miss Salami :( I hope he doesn't freeze his butt off over there. He hasn't really got warm clothes since he lives in such a warm climate.

Everyone scrambled for a partner in class today and I found myself as a third wheel for about 2 minutes until the tutor paired me up with a guy who was also a third wheel. Once again, the smallest girl gets paired with the biggest guy. He was nice though and it's good experience for me having to work on bigger people. No hairy backs this time :)

Tomorrow is my sister's birthday and I'm finding it hard not to be mad at her. I'm finding it so tough when I get home from uni. I'm so, so exhausted that I just crash and burn basically. When I woke up from a 2.5 hour nap, I made dinner..enough for my sister and I. I was hoping to try and make this tandoori chicken stuff but I didn't have any yogurt. My sister called not long ago to tell me she was coming home after an appointment somewhere and asked if I wanted her to get anything from the mall. I asked if she could get the yogurt and she gave me a 1000 word thesis so I said forget it. It's just for OUR dinner tomorrow. Gees. It's hard, cooking for her because she doesn't wash the stuff up afterwards and I need to use the pots and utensils to cook dinner the following night and it'll have food hardened on it. Grr.. I wish she'd make more effort.

So..I'm struggling to write in her b'day card. It's half-filled with the obligatories at the moment. Any ideas? She's turning 24. Gettin old!

I am absolutely killing myself here. Trying to stay up so I can say goodbye to Salami before he leaves for Chicago later today. I hate the time difference sometimes. I fell asleep on the sofa when I came home today. Not by choice. I have been extremely exhausted everyday after class.

So I'm mindlessly surfing the net because my eyes can't focus on the Spinal Motion Palpation sheets I have in front of me. Hurry up boy, don't you know I'm losing precious sleep for you??

It's been a long day. 8am starts which mean 6:50am wake up call. Ugh. I'm not a morning person :P But I'm glad I don't have classes that run late into the night.

Is it just me or does everyones' teeth get that furry, coated feeling when they drink soft drinks ..or perhaps Lipton Ice Tea =/ ....Just an observation.

After class I had to get my spinal assessment done at the student clinic. I booked in with Ben and realised last night that maybe that was a bad idea. I forgot about having to wear a gown with just underwear and bra beneath. I forgot that I would be required to bend all the way over while he stood behind me and looked at my back, butt and legs. I forgot that he'd be lifting my legs up and bending them while I lay on my back. We've been skills partners for so many years but now it's awkward, because he wears a suit in clinic and I'm just a lowly patient.

He threw me a gown to change into and stood there. I looked at him and then he said 'I suppose you want me to leave the room?'. Then he said 'It's nothing I haven't seen before.' I told him to get OUT. Hmm..did something happen between us and I just forgot? Must not have been very good :P Ahaha. Well, the thing with chiro ..and notice I'm not saying it's a good or bad thing..but the thing with chiro is, you get to feel everyone up and down. You just have to. That's what makes you a good chiropractor ;) Now most guys would think 'well alright! Hot girls and hot bodies!' but let me assure you..most of the hot girls with the hot bodies are partnered/guarded by their super beefed-up boyfriends who also happen to be in the same course. Funny how that works out. Either that or they beat the rest of the guys to it ;) So, what you are left with are the real people. Like in 2nd year, when I partnered this middle-aged man who had a hairy and greasy back. That's right folks. I had to run my fingers down that. Repeatedly. The worst part was, and I distinctly remember this, we had a lunch break after and I forgot to wash my hands before digging into my sandwich =(

It has already begun. The workload is getting h e a v y. We started tutorials already. These girls came and basically kicked me off the chiro table I was sitting on. God, I hate girls sometimes. You should have seen their tactics too. Three of them came and sat on the table with their backs facing me. So I sat on the other table next to them and I lost that one to a guy and girl when I stood up for one second. We practiced four set-ups which I'd completely forgot. Acromioclavicular posterior thrust...what??? I've not practiced skills in over a year.

I realised today why I feel so awkward and left out. This is a really YOUNG group of masters students. I'm used to the older, sporty bunch who didn't care to wear make-up and had bad hair days. This lot all seem to have a uniform going on. Black eyeliner is a must, as is hipster jeans (with chunky belts) and big hair. But, as I watched some of them in class, they're pretty good with their set-ups so I'll give them that much.

I also made an ass out of myself by accidentally walking into an accounting lecture. I was running late you see, and they changed the rooms on me :P Plus, I wouldn't have recognised any of the people I'm doing masters with so I wouldn't have noticed had the lecturer not handed me a topic outline with letters ACCN on it.

I hope tomorrow is a better day ... I'm still undecided as to how I feel about everything.

OH. I FINALLY cut my hair. I told the girl I wanted it above my shoulder and layered a bit. She said fine and got another girl to wash my hair. This hair-washing girl said she loved my hair and asked if I was just getting it trimmed. I said no. She talked me out of cutting my hair short. Easily. I looked through some magazines while I waited and no one in there had short hair except Kelly Osbourne =/ So it went from a short styled cut to slightly longer with some layers, to even longer still and a straight cut.Only about 4 inches. Plus there is this layered part that keeps going in my eyes. You can't see it in the picture but trust me, it's annoying.

This morning I was a complete mess. It was like I woke up and was 9 years old all over again and about to start school in a completely different environment, with absolutely no friends. I have no idea why I made it so hard on myself. I was in a panic and before I left for class, I spoke to Ben, Reebok and Salami about how I really didn't want to go and that I was scared.

BK sent me an email saying 'have fun at school! go get 'em! :)'. That's what I had in mind after I arrived and was walking towards the tutorial room. I'm gonna get em. They're not going to get the better of me, I thought. That's exactly what I would have done had anyone been there. The door was closed and the lights were off and I was the only idiot waiting outside. I thought I may have the wrong room but later found out that there was no class today for that subject. Unorganised bastards! I rang them up and emailed them a few times last week and they told me it was on :P

Anyhow, the boys were right. It really wasn't so bad. I bumped into a bunch of old friends =) Actually the first person I bumped into was that dude that reminds me so much of Salami. He always has this big smile when he sees me. It's comforting. I like when people smile. Because it has a domino effect on me :D

I came home during the break and tried to call Salami numerous times. His phone was busy. He just got a new computer and is on dialup until he gets DSL again. The dork was playing CHESS online :P I busted him after finally getting through. It was nice listening to his voice. When he laughs, it makes me smile. Although today it was at my expense :P

When we got off the phone, I had a couple of things I had to do. Drove over to the postoffice and didn't realise that I was relaying the convo we had just had in my head. I think I even repeated something out loud and was smiling to myself inside the car. When I got out, I noticed this man staring at me. He was in his car, right across from mine. Grr ..I hate when someone catches me out like that. I'm usually the one that spots people picking their nose (and eating it too, on occasion!) .

Well it seems everyone else can see this page but me. I've been having trouble off and on with my site :( Stupid host people. I don't think they have the balls to email me back after all my harassing emails. I found out they changed their site to .net instead of .com too. Thanks for letting me know :P

I know it's no big deal that tomorrow is my first day of classes/Masters because I've been at uni for forever now and technically I did start masters last semester..but I still really wanted to spend my last day of holiday bliss talking to Salami. Not that I didn't, that is, if you count the 10 second message I left on his answering machine. =( Leaving messages is something I rarely do because I have a phobia with talking to people on the phone. Took me years before I dared to talk to the pizza guy to order pizza. So that means I reaaaaaally wanted to talk to him.

I'm depressed. I think I get like this every single time class is about to start. I'm scared because this time I won't have the familiarity of the people I started the course with. I'll be with the kids in the year below me and I say kids because that's what they are. My year for some reason had a whole bunch of middle-aged people. This year below was practically all straight from highschool and at first I was hoping for that but now since it's been four years that I've grown used to sitting amongst these older people, I don't want things to change. I'm not good with change :P Change sucks :P Plus, everyone will already have their group of friends. Ahh, I should stop my whining because I do know a number of people and I'm not even mentioning that I'll have Reebok, Mr Confident and Bushpig with me. Sigh..but all guys. I think it's time I made some female friends. But females..they aren't all that much better. If I recall, last year, everyone that bagged me out for being too small or thin or short to be able to do chiro, was female. Sometimes I think they're right. Maybe I can't do it. Maybe I'm not cut out for it. I hate that these people I don't even know can affect me like that.

We went for lunch today with my cousins. When we were about to leave, my sister says we should take two cars cause she wants to do stuff after..and I say ok. So she quickly gets in her car and starts to drive out and goes to me 'well just one of us should go and pick them up since we don't want to waste petrol or anything' and I already knew that that meant I was going because I drive the company car and the petrol is paid for. ..she just pauses and waits and mentions that she needs to get petrol ..ugh. It just pisses me off how selfish she's been lately. Plus that whole thing with her falling asleep at dinner the other night and then giving me no choice about driving home because she wanted to order a beer with her food, and THEN sleeping all the way home in the car while I drove, really pissed me off.

Especially because she gloats to everyone about having to be responsible for my older brother and I and she really does jack all. She can't even take care of herself and she hasn't done any housework because the place is semi-clean thanks to me, so in her eyes, nothing's dirty enough to have to be cleaned. I hate that. Not that I can talk myself, because I could take better care of myself but I dont boast to people about being more responsible than her.

Do you think it is mean of me to cook just for myself this coming week and the rest of the time? I'm going to pretend I live on my own and just do my own thing. She's working long hours now and she comes home at 8:30pm and expects me to cook dinner then or have had it cooked for her and if it's to her liking, she'll eat it.

I'm really peeved at my sister because after lunch she said she would go to get groceries (she was going to see this exhibition with her friends first) and by 7pm, I was absolutely starving and I called her and said 'uhm..I'm going to assume you're not coming home for dinner?' and she goes 'yeah....I guess I'll just take care of my own dinner.' trying to make it sound like it's her loss too when she's probably going out for dinner with her bf. Then I said 'I dont suppose you went to Coles then? (that's the supermarket)' and she says 'no.....but if I do go, do you want anything?'. ARGH. She is such a freakin ass. I started telling her again what we needed but I realised she wasn't going to go so I said nevermind, I'd get it tomorrow. She is such a freakin ass. So I said I had to go because I was absolutely starving and she said ok but started talking about my cousin and how she might be moving in with this guy and goes on and on and I listened for a while but then I cut her off and said I'd hear it later causeIi was going to die otherwise. I hung up on her while she was saying 'ok bye'.

This is such a mish-mash of complaints. Mainly because a huge chunk was from my email to Salami, and another chunk was from a convo with Johann and I had to edit a whole bunch of names out and whatnot. Hmph. Basically wanted to squeeze in all my thoughts before I start uni tomorrow because I'll have less time to update this then.

Ergh. To put it in short, someone hacked into my site. That's all I'm going to say because he doesn't deserve more than one sentence and because I've already spent a good deal of time being upset about it. How upset? Upset enough to skip two bbq's tonight and spend it at home being a Saturday night loser in front of the computer with a bowl of instant noodles for dinner.

On the otherhand, this nice boy deserves his own line of thanks. He was willing to go out of his way to help a stranger. I'm impressed and very appreciative! =)

On the other other hand, this boy deserves a thumbsdown because he compared me to Big Kev (ugh! :P):

I have another cousin who flew into Sydney yesterday but she's a lot different to the one I spent the entire last year complaining about. My sis and I had yumcha in the city and met up with said cousin and her bro. She's only been here and day and she's already turned into a shopaholic freak =)