Wednesday, 22-Feb-2006 10:11 AM

A Little Taste of Home

You really dont know what a lost little asian you are until you find yourself roaming the shops, trying to find a store that sells noodles.

Oh I miss the flavors of where I come from!

It stands out when you're a minority. Luckily it hasn't been like that this time around. I must say, that even though I've seen a number of asians around,it is hard to find a place that sells asian groceries. Last night though I finally came across a tiny shop that claimed to be "Asia Best Grocer" and wandered inside. Oh the TINY rows that only one person can fit in sideways! Packets of dried herbs, anchovies, little red beans and all sorts of weird and wonderful things your grandma used to boil and make you drink to make you taller, smarter, prettier, healthier or less heaty. Who knew that staring at an overflowing shelf of red and yellow tin cans could bring me a moment's peace within myself. A lengthy smile.

As disgusting and filthy as some people may find it, I like it. I'm used to it. The basic concrete floors with that cold, musty smell. The packets of dried squid, prawn crackers and little jelly cups that you can spin on the floor. Hmm :) Although it seems like it, everything isn't in a mess. If you ask the person at the counter, they know exactly where everything is AND they can tell you in about 5 different dialects. Amazing. It's an orderly mess....quite like my bedroom.

I didn't get to have an extensive look at everything but I did leave with a packet of noodles and a mental note to come back again.

Monday, 13-Feb-2006 3:50 PM

Pus.

My mom set up a webcam so I can see what's going on and keep in touch with her and my dad. The other night, I see my dad in his boxer shorts, on the couch, bending over. My mom is right behind him, bent over, staring at his butt or something. I quickly send them a text message - what the hell are you guys doing??

My dad replies:

"I have a boil on my back and mom's trying to pop it!"

I really shouldn't have asked.

Then he takes it one step further with another message:

"Mom said we can send it over for you to see."

And you thought your parents were strange.

Friday, 10-Feb-2006 10:50 AM

I've been driving a little here and there and I must say, there are times where I get so frustrated. I'll fall into a momentary lapse and forget where the hell everything is in the car, like the brakes! I'm just not used to this whole, driving-on-the-opposite-side thing. I feel like the door on the left is barracading me and always in my personal space. I'm used to having my left hand on the gears and leaving it there while I drive. It was comfortable. Sigh, I'll have to kiss that habit goodbye.

Thursday, 9-Feb-2006 10:10 AM

The other night while I was talking to my sister online, she asks me if I want to hear the good news or the bad news. I ask how bad the bad is. Not really bad at all she says. Okay, tell me. She tells me that she heard Boston in the hallway meowing so she went out of her room to see what he was doing. He was at the front of my bedroom door, meowing and just staring up at the door. 'Awww....you miss her, don't you?' She asks him and opens the door to let him in my room. Then she tells me he didn't care for my room. Didn't even take a peep inside or a sniff of all the memories locked in there. She noticed then though that he wasn't staring at my door nor was he meowing at it. He was looking up at this huge flying cockroach ABOVE my door!

Then she slices me up rubs salt into my wounds with this:

"Well the bad news is he doesn't miss you at all. And the good news is...well...he's doing really good."

Well I miss you, monkey!

Monday, 06-Feb-2006 12:12 AM

A night at the arcade.

I can't sleep. Again. So I thought I'd share the highlight of my Saturday night. We were at the arcade and I somehow found myself lined up with a bunch of guys, about to compete in the basketball shooting game. I didn't realise I'd hit the button to join in but it was too late to back out and before I knew it, I was shooting. Ball after ball after ball, until I noticed a couple of people out of the corner of my eye standing around me saying 'look at her! Oh shit, she beat them!' AHAHAHHAa....I scored 64! I kicked their asses! And it felt gooOOOood. I wanted to do backflips. Of course it was a huge fluke but hey, a win is a win and I'll take it :D I was so excited, I could have run a marathon. Hmm..and that is probably why I still can't get to bed tonight :P

Friday, 03-Feb-2006 3:34 AM

The roads are still busy until 4am.

I was lying in bed for well over an hour, wide awake. Looked at my watch and thought, great! It's almost 7am but after several minutes pass, I started wondering why the alarm didn't go off. Darn electronic devices, switching off when you least expected. That's what I thought anyway, until I put my glasses on and peered over at the clock. Good grief! It's ONLY 3AM!? I hadn't wound my watch back. You know, cause I'm still holding onto whatever little part of Sydney I can.

Soo...anyway, I've just been staring at the keyboard and I was going to say, hmm..there are twenty six letters on my keyboard, did you know that? And then I realised just how dumb that was. I can't sleep and I've apparently lost quite a few braincells on the trip over.

You know what I observed? Not that I'm some major expert and this is a huge generalisation but through the number of times I have flown between Malaysia, Australia and the US, I've noticed a little trend with the cultures. When I fly back to M'sia (which is generally packed full with asians), as soon as the plane's wheels hit the airport runway, they are off! Belts unclicking with record speed and overhead luggage being pulled down. Seat belts signs being ignored as is the "please remain seated until the plane has come to a complete stop" announcement. Where did the mad rush come from!? Everything in M'sia seems SO slow. Service is slow, people move slow, traffic is slow. I just don't get it.

When I fly to the US, as soon as the plane lands, I find myself sitting amongst a bunch of magicians, all miraculously producing a cellphone in the palm of their hands. I hear a multitude of little beeps and sounds and everyone is having a conversation with themselves. What is the rush? I don't get it. Is everyone expecting a call from the President or something?

The Aussies I can't quite pinpoint. They seem to just sit there. Laid back and relaxed. They let everyone else rush through. I don't get it. Don't you want to get OUT already?? They wait until the plane comes to a complete stop and then some. It's like they know that either way, you're going to be standing waiting to get out. Might as well sit.

I am confused. What to do? So I do it all. Unclick my belt before the plane comes to a complete stop, switch on my phone and check for messages while the plane is still moving, rush to get my luggage from the overhead compartment, then I sit on the armrest of my chair because I couldn't be arsed to stand and wait.

Thursday, 02-Feb-2006 3:08 PM

Making the move.

So I got here last night and I couldn't stop crying. I felt horrible doing it in his presence. I dont usually cry to anyone but myself.

He asked me if I regretted coming. Of course I said no. But it was a measly no and had someone waved a ticket back home in front of my face, I'm sure I'd be on the next plane out.

I had forgotten the feeling of homesickness because no where really feels like home to me and I'm always spending time here and time there, but last night there was a huge part of me missing and I found myself holding on to all things Australian. Oh for the love of vegemite! Green coles shopping bags! The weekend markets! Free supre bags that I even saw a man carrying on the plane. I missed it. I missed it all. Most of all though, I missed my sister and the very last image of her haunted me through the entire night and even now brings tears to my eyes as I think of her.

She stood there at the gate, after we hugged and said our last goodbyes and parted. Then she waited and watched as I walked away. I did the stupid thing of turning around. Three times. Each time to see her standing there, the crowd a blur around her but her outline sharp and clear and beautiful. she had tears rolling down her cheeks but she tried to smile and waved and I knew that deep down beneath that exterior, she felt I was leaving her behind. I've known her this long, I can read it all over her face. It was killing me and my eyes became so blurry that the last time I looked back, I couldn't see her anymore.

It was sad because we got there early but the line was so long, that by the time I had checked in, there was hardly anytime left. She had planned on us eating one last meal together but I was so worried about being late that I wasn't hungry and she ended up having to throw her food away because I had to go. It was horrible to have to be rushed like that. As I gathered my things to go to the gate, she gave me a small gift, apologising because she knew I was already overweight with so much luggage. It was a tiny white book with photos inside which she had made and a single word on each page. Words that read a sentence from start to end but I wouldn't find out until much later as each time I tried to open it, I'd break down.

The tiny photos are beautiful. They are a selection of pictures of my family, including my grandparents and the cats, my nephew and soon to be brother in law. I don't know when I'll look at it again. When I have the time to cry.

I shouldn't have written this. I'm a blubbering mess all over again and my eyes already look like a goldfish's today.

But I can't end it like this...all sad and sloppy. Let me just say thank you to the gangly asian guy that watched me make a fool of myself trying to lift a 32kg bag on top of another one that was already on the trolley. I had just missed lifting it high enough to pile it on top when the trolley slid away and I dropped the suitcase. :)