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Sunday, 31-Aug-2003 11:11 PM What a long weekend. Ergh. I'm tired and getting cranky. I just went to iron some clothes for tomorrow and the iron is missing. My brother moved out this weekend and took it with him, grrrrr! That is SO inconsiderate. Little things piss me off. I fume over it. Last night I went to a friend's birthday party. It was pretty good. Mr Norway replied the text message I sent him a whole day later and also asked if I was going to the party that night. I had no credit on my phone at the time , so I didn't reply until over an hour later. I was curious to see if he'd show up...I thought that he'd not bother to go since he had his party the night before. So I sent him a message back saying I was going to be there after I ate and I wasn't staying long (not exactly true). He showed up shortly after I did and I found myself feeling all jittery. I even left the area he was at. I know it's nothing...or least I think it's nothing...but I just don't want it to turn into some awkward misunderstanding later on. Anyways, this other guy made cocktails and gave me one when I got there. It was pretty damn strong and I felt all woozy after about half an hour. I love cocktails. I forget they have alcohol in them and drink them too fast though. Had a number of drinks after that, which probably wasn't such a good thing because I can't look people in the eye..mainly because they feel so tired and dry. I had to drive home too, which was interesting because I remember the beginning and the end but I can't remember driving through all the streets in the middle. I kept wondering if I had run a red light or if I was even at the lights and whether there were other cars...I honestly couldn''t remember. Ahh..anyhow! It was such a beautiful weekend, weather-wise, that I couldn't sit still today and had to go out. My brother told us the Malaysian Festival was on in the city so my sister and I headed down there but it's actually on next week :P We must look like such eager beavers. In reality, I just wanted to walk around in the sunshine. Grabbing some tasty malaysian food would have just been a bonus :D Salami leaves this morning for his week-long hiking trip. I'm jealous:( I'd like to imagine the two of us hiking along that mountain he showed me pictures of, and camping out and getting freaked out by the sounds of wilderness but instead I'm left to picture him and his dad doing that....eeek. FOR SALE: NEW Lilac AB Swarovski Crystal Bracelet - US$30
Made with 105 swarovski crystals! Pretty and sparkly and all things nice! =) I will ship internationally. Postage to the States is about US$4.00 If you're interested, please email me. Friday, 29-Aug-2003 11:05 PM Party for one. What just happened? I went from being a typical college girl with a big social life organised to being home, alone, my eyes all puffy from crying after watching your average 'run of the mill' Friday night movie. It all happened so fast too. This friend of mine whipped out an invite when I was rushing out of class to buy some course notes. Right after that, Norway butts into a conversation of mine to tell us to go to his housewarming tonight. I wanted to be more enthusiastic but the friend I was talking to kind of brushed his invite aside and kept talking to me. Poor guy just sort of ..left. I felt really bad and was hoping we'd get a chance to speak again before the day was over, but we didn't. However, we did exchange a smile across the room in the last class we had. I wonder what's up with that. Everytime I look up, he seems to be looking in my direction. I don't dare say he's looking right at me, but it sure seems so. It's a little creepy even. Anyhow, I really wanted to go ..it seems like it would have been a great housewarming and there'd be plenty of people to meet - something I need. I didn't want to go alone though, and the only girl I knew going sort of backed out. We're all going to the other girl's b'day thing tomorrow night. Well, I might be ...it's just bad timing because Salami leaves for this mini hiking trip he's going on with his dad and I was planning on calling him...ah well...we shall see, we shall see. I do feel pretty guilty because this whole week I've been napping and procrastinating. Yesterday after class, Mr Nice, T and I headed over to Mr Nice's suburb and had some lunch, hung around at his house for a while and then headed over to the local golf course and played 9 holes of golf! I never intended on playing so I didn't actually play but after the first few holes, I got my game on! It was fun :D I even got a par 3! We had this putting competition going on after the game and it was every man for himself. I did damn good if I say so myself :D We had dinner at a local restaurant closeby ...it was nice. Like old pals hanging out at a local diner...I miss that feeling :) Crap. I think something is crawling on my back. Wednesday, 27-Aug-2003 11:22 PM Mars was on the tip of my nose tonight. I've always felt that I couldn't ever consider getting my nails done or going for facials or any kind of pampering treatment because it was just that...self indulgence... but I'm thinking..lots of girls do it. They get their hair cut, eyebrows done, legs and bikini wax, manicure, pedicure, facials, massage etc. I've had one or two things done but nothing on a regular basis so today I just thought, what the hey. I NEED a massage bigtime. I was trying to get some work done in the library after class and my shoulders were just cramped up and referring this horrible, nagging pain all over my trapezius muscles. So I thought what the hey and got a shoulder massage at this place (dragged my sister along too). It was great! The guy told me I was super tight and asked if I had time to do a neck one too. I really would have liked that but I just hate the idea of paying for a massage :D I'm used to trading "one for one" with my mom =) I stared at Mars for a good five minutes tonight. Right on the dot when they said it would be closest to Earth. I saw it move 100 kiilometers or so toward me and an alien waved hello :D It sure was sparkly tonigh. No thanks to my contacts drying up and going all blurry on me, though. Maybe that's why it looked so big :P Once again I should be asleep already but I had a big two hour nap before...I can't figure out why I keep crashing out like that. I wanted to go for a run today too but was just too tired. Tried to do some of those exercises we learned in rehab but it just killed me. It's funny because the guys have to do them too and they look hilarious when they're lying on their backs and trying to reach their pelvis up towards the ceiling. It just always seemed like such a womanly exercise to me :D Tuesday, 26-Aug-2003 11:58 PM I'm beat. I'm wide awake when I should be fast asleep. Practicing for the exam every chance I got today gave me a headache. The exam was okay..although I panicked at the start because this girl came to partner me and she wanted to go first which meant that when we rotated, I would have to partner the biggest guy in the course. He's just HUGE. Like bulky, muscly huge and he knows it and he's proud of it. Fortunately though, we rotated the other way. However that meant I had to do my set-ups on this other big guy. I had trouble with one of them because he was just too big, or I was too short and I had to go on my tiptoes :( I got asked to do that one again...not a good thing :P Two of my friends weren't scheduled to do their exam until much later in the night so they were at the driving range. I went up to watch them hit their last few balls and then we went to eat at the shopping centre nearby. Had this KFC meal which was missing a bun. The potato and gravy looked so gross, T went to return his and the girl gave him another identical one. Came home after that and basically crashed for a good two hours. Watched Amazing Race tonight :D That show makes me swing my arms around like a lunatic. I can't believe how excited I get sometimes. During the ads, my sister was trying to tell me about this argument she had with her boyfriend. She started by saying that she wasn't going to begin telling me until I said I would side with her. Hahaa...I never seem to side with her when she argues with her bf...although what she's complaining about is kind of the things I do with Salami. It's just funny to see the things girls do to get more attention out of the guy. She's now trying to come up with a way to punish the poor guy cause he hasn't called since yesterday - and it's all because she said she just couldn't talk to him at the moment (from being so pissed off). I tell her..guys take things literally....if you say you can't talk, you can't talk. They're dumb like that:P What it really means is we need ego pampering. CALL damnit, ask what's wrong and see what you can do to make us feel better :P That's how it works. Get with the program :P Sunday, 24-Aug-2003 5:55 PM Gluttony. Spent three hours at uni practicing for my skills exam coming up. Hadn't had lunch, which was probably what pushed me to buy a chocolate mars bar at the petrol station since I had to fill the car up - plus you have a 1 in 6 chance of winning another mars bar ;P I didn't stop at that though. Came home and ate two curry puffs (made them yesterday!) and then caved in to my sweet tooth and had not one, but TWO slices of this coffee cake. Topped it off with a nice warm mug of english breakfast tea with sugar =( I don't know what's gotten into me. Now comes the best part. I've been feeling like throwing up for the past hour and a half. I'm sure it has to do with the cheap cake and all the creamy stuff and icing that was in it. Bleh. I didn't even win anything on the wrapper of the mars bar either :( The wind outside is CRAZY. I hear what sounds like pots and pans flying around the sky and crashing to the ground. The roof sounds like it's flapping up and down. When I was filling up on petrol, I was trying to put the petrol gun/nozzle thing back in it's slot, but the wind blew so hard that I missed the slot completely. The wind actually blew me back hard enough for me to take a step backwards. Coming back from uni, I had to dodge all these branches scattered over the road..just crazy :) The other week I talked to the boy. He wanted to ask me a question but would only ask me if I gave him the honest truth. I said of course I would. But I didn't. He asked if I still had feelings for him. I said yes. The only reason I said yes was because I thought he was going to say something about still having feelings for me. Somehow, I had always hoped that out of the blue, he would bring up the past or express some kind of unfulfilled affection for me. I just didn't want to close the window for unspoken words and unexpressed feelings. Okay, stupid me. So instead of any heartfelt outpouring, he tells me how he was talking to an ex and she said to him 'face it, you're just going to have to deal with the fact that you're one of those guys that girls can never get over.' That whole night I was kicking myself. I had the perfect opportunity to dent his ego and instead, it backfired and boosted his while destroying mine. I'm bringing this up because I talked to him again last night. Nothing much to the conversation, as usual. I told Salami about it and he wasn't too happy. He says he doesn't understand why I talk to him at all, if all it does is make me upset. He said 'it's like you're not learning from past experiences.' Ouch. It's true though.. I get my kicks out of self torture perhaps. Although, with all the times I've touched this hotplate of a boy, I should have burned off all the touch receptors on my fingers already. You'd think that if a kid can learn that touching a hotplate = bad, someone three times their age would have that concept drilled into their brain. Perhaps that's why I have an Anatomy Coloring Book on my desk (thanks for pointing that out, Johann:P). Saturday, 23-Aug-2003 6:28 PM Is it just me or does my desk look like it's starting to sag? I'm exhausted! Two and a half hours trying to practice skills at uni, one hour talking to Salami standing at the express internet terminal in the library, one hour of studying, one hour at the supermarket and almost two hours making curry puffs (mm!). I really need to reduce the time it takes me to get groceries from the supermarket. When I was visiting Salami, we'd be in and out of there in 5 minutes. Me? I go isle by isle so I can be reminded of what I need. Plus, I'm attracted to all the pretty colors and packaging :D Hehe...not that I BUY any of it though :P We never really get a good amount of things done when we practice together, the girls and I. Today was no different, except that we were wasting time comparing who we thought the hottest tutors were :D I couldn't stop laughing at K. She was saying how she couldn't explain why, but everytime this one tutor comes near her, she gets all nervous and jittery :) Apparently she got him to adjust a posterior rib of hers yesterday and that involved him wrapping his arms around her :) He reminds me of a rhino :D Ahh..and while we're on the topic of uni...I'll never forget that other week when I got to class and the Norwegian guy (lets call him Norway) and I were talking and the tutor comes over to us and tells us and the rest of the class to palpate each others pubic tubercles. I remember saying to the tutor 'What?? You're kidding me. The only day I partner a guy in this class and you ask us to do that!'. He laughs and says 'Well I bet your partner doesn't mind'. So I look at Norway and he's lying on his back, on the table and I say 'I don't know where the pubic tubercle is.' and he says 'It's when a guy tries to have sex with you on the first date ...it's where you put your hand to stop him.' Woah, come again!?!? It took me
awhile to comprehend what he said. So then he unzips his jeans and
pulls them down and I'm looking at his Calvin Klein underwear. Ack!
I threw a towel over his waist and then had to slide my hand under
it. Eeeee...the On to other things...I'm still addicted to sunsets...they never turn out as well in my photographs. I've wasted too much time staring this week. At the sky, at the computer screen, at my ceiling. I'm blabbering again...someone stop me :)
Friday, 22-Aug-2003 9:43 AM First thing Friday morning.. Hah, am I the biggest nerd or what. I'm absolutely busting to go to the toilet but I told myself I'm going to check out all my daily sites and everything before I can go! Wednesday, 20-Aug-2003 10:43 PM A mishmash of things, because I'm disorientated.
It's Mr Confident's birthday today. Bushpig and I went and bought him this cake and some profiteroles (sp?)...it was my idea because the other week he was eating one from this same place we bought it at, and he was saying how good it was, so I thought it'd be nice. He didn't seem too excited by it though...he said he'd already eaten and didn't know if he could eat anymore. We found him in the library, studying in a room with Reebok, who didn't seem to want us there...I think it's moreso that he's sick of Bushpig hanging around (the three of them carpool everyday too). Anyhow..I went and met up with a few others to practice some skills. Exams next week :( Ugh...Masters means a constant stream of exams. I have assignments due every Monday for one subject, plus 5 other papers to write and somehow find the time to research for them. I reaaaaally don't like writing essays/papers/reports. I don't like reading statistical tables either. On to other things... I LOVE the show Amazing Race. It's on three times this week...I guess to start the adrenalin ball rolling..and mine sure has started rollin! Hmm..actually, it's on right now but I'm taping it. I watched last night's episode just then so I figure I can't go two in a row since I haven't done much tonight and I have to be in bed...oh wait..20 minutes ago :P Went for a run today and I swear it feels like I'm running a greater distance than I probably am. That sucks :P I dared myself not to look at my watch until I reached the end and I kept telling myself I'd be pleasantly surprised to find that I've run for longer than I thought...but it never turns out that way for some reason :P Tuesday, 19-Aug-2003 11:23 PM I would love to, but.. There's a great opportunity for Salami to work in a different state. The place he always wanted to live in and now that it seems like such a real possibility, everything seems to have accelerated forward and I can see the word 'FUTURE' with a huge questionmark right on top of it, floating in front of my eyes (which, btw, recovered well from last night's strain). I don't know what my future is ....where I'll be...here....there...someplace else? It dawned on me today that I'm scared of what's going to happen. I don't want to go it alone. I'm seeing this image of me standing at the end of one of those people movers (those flat escalators you see at airports). He's stepped on it and has turned around to look at me, assuming I'm right there with him. But I haven't stepped on it and all I can see is his face and how he's moving further away and what we have is becoming more distant. It doesn't help that it's a freezing cold night and it's pouring and miserable outside :( And I know not everyone is curled up with their special someone, but some are ...and that's enough for me to be jealous of. Tuesday, 19-Aug-2003 0:21 AM The things that keep me from sleeping. Ahh, don't you love it when you're so incredibly tired, you can only barely keep one eye open but you're straining your poor ocular muscles for just a minute more, just a minute more...and it's all because you can't get enough of him- even though he's at work and emails one sentence every few minutes... Just a minute more....a minute more......a sentence more. Sunday, 17-Aug-2003 11:02 PM Rehab, schmeehab. My Rehab lecturer thinks it's amusing to now have random assessments done each week. It's nerve-wrecking, stressful and humiliating. I don't like it damnit. Here's the catch: if you're called up, and you decide to do the procedure in front of the entire class (there's like 70 of us), then you immediately get 1 point out of 5. If you decide not to, you do it to the side of the room (where everyone can see you anyway :P ) and the most you can get is 4/5. Now, I don't really mind doing it in front of everyone...I'm not nervous until that one second before opening my mouth and having to instruct my patient. That's when things get spontaneous for me. My voice cracks and it becomes this tiny pipsqueak sound, which to my ears are loud but last week this other lecturer had to ask me to repeat what I said, so I guess I'm just hearing my mind talking and forgetting that no one else can. Or maybe I AM talking loud enough but the sound of my heart beating is drowning it out. Err anyway, it's time for bed..oh how I envy you all in the States, waking up to a lovely Sunday morning...sometimes it sucks living in the future :P Saturday, 16-Aug-2003 11:03 PM The 3 dedicated students. Not to go into too much detail but I haven't felt fear like this for a long time. It involved being in a room we were not supposed to be in, in a building that was accessible only by security or people who had a swipecard/password. There were people there when I got there, they let me in and later, I let my friends in and we were practicing some skills stuff etc but we knew that we'd have to leave when those people were leaving. Ahh, I feel like I took part in such criminal activity! When it came time to leave, M hid in one of the rooms while K and I packed our stuff and walked out. Said bye to the other people and tried to talk loud and a lot so they wouldn't suspect one of us was missing. At one point one of the guys asked 'is that all of you?'. My heart raced as we quickly walked out and I heard them turn the lights off and lock the doors behind them. We then went through the main door which isn't accessible from the outside and walked in the opposite direction. Killed a few minutes until M called us on the phone. She let us back in and we quickly locked the door behind us. Spent a good ten minutes in pure paranoia world. Every creak I heard made me jump, thinking someone was about to open the door and bust us in there. We stayed over an hour more and I finally said I was going. M came with me so she could lock the door behind me. The moment we walked toward the door, I heard voices coming toward it. A guy said 'come on now.' and we panicked and bolted back and hid. All these thoughts raced through my head...what would we say when they came in and saw us in there? Was it security? How fast would I be able to think? Would I be able to lie?? We got back to the door and I put my hand on the doorknob and tried to turn it slowly to unlock it. We heard another noise outside the door. Someone was walking right past it. The crazy thing was, there was no where to go when you're outside in the hallway, except in the room we were in. We all froze and waited to see if this person was going to open our door or leave through the main door. My hand was still on the doorknob. A few seconds later, someone else comes in through the main doors and we see them through the hole next to the doorknob. M and K run away but I'm left there, hand still on the doorknob, unable to release it because of the noise it would make. I did though, as slowly as I could and I quickly walked back to where M and K were (I'd have run but I was wearing my backpack and it was damn noisy on movement). No one came in although we could hear them right outside the door. To cut a big deal short, I finally got out and it took like 20 minutes before my heartrate went back to normal. I think it just makes it all the more scarier knowing we'd already been told we couldn't be in there without permission. We asked security the week before and they wouldn't open the doors for us. I never expected M to actually hide in there and wait for everyone to leave and then let us back in. She did it at the very last second, when I thought we were all just going to pack up and leave. If there wasn't something like the possibility of being expelled, I would've found more humor in it...but I know it was a pretty stupid thing to do. Hmm...and I was trying not to go into too much detail :P Saturday, 16-Aug-2003 0:30 AM And you thought the 'pubic tubercle' class was bad. I partnered the class nerd today for skills and halfway through the class, I noticed people were staring at us. At first I thought they may have been looking at the pair of students behind us but no...it was us alright, and I was wondering why. I had been standing behind 'class nerd' and lightly palpating his back and didn't realise the over-exaggerated facial expressions he was making. He looked as though he was being stabbed in the spine and I wasn't even really touching him. Anyhow, we moved on to practicing the next adjustment and I got him lying down on his front. Just as I'm about to place my hands on him, he mumbles something while his face is pressed in the facehole. me: 'What's that? I didn't hear you.' him: 'Don't you hate it when you've got gas and you can't get it out?' I'm thinking...what the f&ck did he just say???? Did he just say what I thought he said??? I watch as he lifts his head and upper back. He squirms a little. Then he releases this pent up 'gas' and says 'Ahh..okay.' I didn't know whether to scream out 'what the hell!?' because I wasn't exactly sure what happened and whether I was misinterpreting everything or just to ignore it. I decided to just shutup and hold my breath.
Thursday, 14-Aug-2003 11:09 PM Don't forget them keys! I locked myself out of my room today. The spare keys weren't hanging where they should be hanging. So I had to either pick the lock or be creative. I'd love to have picked the lock and shown off about it, but I opted for creativity, given my 100% fail rate at picking locks. With face pressed on the carpet and peering under the door, I could see my keys were on the floor, quite a distance away. I made an under-the-door, key-grabbing device using two golf club shafts I found in my dad's cupboard, a paperclip and some tape. She's a genius! A genius with a carpet imprint on her face.
Wednesday, 13-Aug-2003 7:24 PM Man's best friend. When I went to visit Salami, I was easily amused by the images on these signs so I took some pics :D, much to his embarassment. I really live up to the 'typical asian tourist' image ;) Actually, regardless of race, I'll bet the people walking by thought I was just an idiot. I thought the second one was cute though :D Click to enlarge!
Hmm..although this chinese guy at the airport was taking pictures of all kinds of crazy things...the ATM, the information computer, the internet computer, the toilet door. Each to their own, eh? :) Tuesday, 12-Aug-2003 7:31 PM 99% VS 1% I don't know if it's such a good idea to write when I'm really pissed off AND starving. Or maybe that's the best time - when all the raw emotion comes out...and the typos. Reebok and the rest of the gang are giving me the shits. Here I thought I had me a good bunch of people as friends..and they are for the most part..but I'm seeing more and more how little they understand me. I've had long talks with Reebok about life in general and my life specifically. During those talks, I thought we were bonding...I thought he could see where I was coming from. I have a hard, hard time feeling like I belong here, in this country. In reality, it's not just this country, it's any country. I am an expat kid, but I'm NOT an expat brat. This is where my frustration begins. In the past two weeks, I've had more random comments blurted out about me from my friends than in all the years added up. Out of the blue, while practicing some stuff one day, Mr Nice asks me 'So is it true that you live in a palace in Malay?'. No. We're staying in one of those apartment/units over there. Not that anything I said mattered, even if it was only the truth. 'And is it true you're part of some rich country club?' 'And is it true you can go on cruises for free, whenever you want?' 99% of me wants to strangle something. 99% of me wants to tell them I'm not the daughter of some rich family, that I don't own this or that, and neither do my parents. GRRRRR. Is there any point in saying I have to sleep on the floor when I'm back in Malaysia? They don't believe me. Where the hell do they come up with all these ideas?? Ahh, Reebok, Reebok, Reebok...did everything I say go through one ear, get manipulated inside your brain, then come back out your mouth? They don't believe anything I say, only what they've heard second-hand. It's like their brain is on some looped circuit and they only hear what they want to hear, see what they want to see. BUT. I shouldn't have to point out all the things that would prove I was at the same level as them. If I was the daughter of the sultan, what difference would it make? They shouldn't treat me or see me any differently because I'M JUST ME. I'm still the same person they thought I was way back in 1st year when we all met. Unfortunately, I can't seem to change things and it's wearing me down. All the little comments..all the sarcasm. I have not felt this frustrated since highschool...and all I can relate this to is being back in year 11, when I was walking out of class, a friend of mine kept hitting my head with her thick artbook, even though I told her not to. So after the third or fourth time she did it, I'd had enough and I whacked down on her head with my twice as chunky artbook, HARD, and she about cried. She swore at me but I was like, hey, I told you to stop. Anyhow, no violence this time (hopefully) but I can't say it hasn't crossed my mind. I'm disappointed in them. They're all from middle-class families and they're still bickering and bitching out other people who they perceive are 'bloody rich'. It's almost embarassing. All this talk about how rich kids are spoilt and they drive bmws and whatnot and they're assumed to be assholes compared to kids who have to work and study at the same time, and save up for things they want etc. They're the ones who are well-behaved, studious, good moralistic kids? That's bullshit. I'm sure a lot are, but I no longer consider my friends in that category. So I'm embarassed for them. Obviously, it makes no difference whether you're rich or poor or in between. If you've been brought up well, whether it be by your parents or by yourself, then you wouldn't assume that someone driving a BMW is a rich daddy's boy/girl. And if they are, it doesn't make them a rich bitch/asshole/insert 'jealous-kid's-desperate-attempt-at-hurling-insults-in-order-to-make-themselves-feel-better' word here. I'll admit that, right now, my lifestyle is pretty comfortable, but it wasn't always like that. It hasn't changed my outlook on life one bit. I still work really hard. I still save all my pennies. I still treat everyone the same, whether they themselves have become successful in business or failed. I just think it's pathetic to hear them bitching out those so called 'rich' kids, when those kids could be really humble people. The other thing is, they don't see that they're pretty damn 'rich' themselves. Sigh. I'm more pissed off than I seem. I just can't seem to say what I'm feeling or thinking in words that would make a stranger understand what I'm really talking about. Because it's more than just 'rich kid vs not-so-rich kid'. It's about distorting one's words, destroying one's trust and not having any discretion. Dumb fucks. I don't know what it is that keeps my finger from pulling that trigger, but I'm thankful for it. It must be that 1%. Oh. I don't know if I made it clear, but I'm not the sultan's daughter :P Nor do I drive a BMW. I like them though :P Sunday, 10-Aug-2003 9:51 PM And this is all because I changed my ideal job from pornstar to something else :P Well now, if being a pornstar would make me 'Pom Pom' and loved by all the guys, I would've thought twice about choosing a career as a PGA tour member :P
Sunday, 10-Aug-2003 8:58 AM Snap, crackle...*pop*! Once again I am reminded of how helpless being a chiro can be when you yourself is in need of an adjustment. Something snapped in my neck just now. It sure was loud. I realise it's probably a facet out of place but I can't MOVE my head without causing excruciating pain down the posterolateral side of my neck. Ahh..my poor squashed nerves :( I got up early to get some work done too :( Saturday, 09-Aug-2003 11:30 PM Sunsets and upsets.
Lately the sunsets here have been to die for. For some reason my camera can't catch it as well as I hoped it would. Or you know, maybe I shouldn't blame the camera since it's probably the photographer's lack of skill :P Plus that damn telegraph pole is in the way! I suppose it makes for a more artistic shot. Still, it's blocking my view, damnit :P My eyes hurt and I'm tired. I'm tired because I cry too easily. Salami was supposed to be around earlier today but he came like over three hours late. Of course he apologised and I appreciate that (he was designated driver for the night) but still...I didn't get anything done while waiting and before that, I left uni early so I could get back home just to talk to him. It's just that this is the third time it's happened in like two weeks and I just feel so ridiculed....waiting...like some idiot. Anyhow, I told him how I felt about things and he felt pretty bad, which made me feel pretty bad. I really don't have anything to complain about...he IS great...I guess sometimes I just can't deal with the whole distance thing and I fall to pieces. Sigh, the night feels wasted. I've spent hours doing an assignment that is rather easy. I want to watch this late night movie that's on tv right now - Chicago Cab? I'm strangely attracted to that cab driver. But..I think I'm going to opt for sleep instead - in hopes of something more pleasant, even though it'll only be a dream. Saturday, 09-Aug-2003 1:07 AM Procastinating, as per usual. I intended to get one whole assignment done tonight but instead....I made a new bracelet =)
So tonight is a night out of the ordinary. I've not stayed up this late since the holidays...I miss my late nights. I've not done a single bit of uni work. I wrote lengthy emails complaining about my friends. I made a hamburger for dinner, which I must say was pretty good :D I also pigged out on icecream and strawberries, chips and salsa. I'm guessing it's the cause for this incredibly painful heart pains I'm having right now :( Earlier I tried to do this tae-bo workout on vcd (I've had it for a while now) and I lasted almost 15 minutes before dropping like a fly. I'm trying to do more pushups too...so I reached about 30 today and also a bunch of situps. Now I'm just waitin for the results to appear:P Whenever you're ready...no rush or anything :P Thursday, 07-Aug-2003 11:44 PM It's only something small, in my opinion, but I guess even with that I'm hoping for a little too much from him. Wednesday, 06-Aug-2003 11:04 PM Free-balling, female style. Oooh...this person linked me recently and I decided to check out her site. She's beautiful! So is her little bub :) She's a freelance web designer too :( That was my dream job for awhile. It's funny, because she mentions the ear-piercing craze that hits most girls around the age of 12 and I realise how I was a sheep back then. I have two holes in each ear and I did have a huge stash of those brightly colored plastic earrings with the smiley faces, peace sign, musical notes and every other tacky design:P Then, I too discovered boys and changed to sterling silver daggers and other 'cool' stud earrings. Ahh, my face is flushing just thinking about it and how I probably didn't impress anyone but my guinea pig =/ My dad called up tonight to see how I was and for some reason just HAD to mention that my sister is roaming around L.A. bra-less. Apparently she ruined all her underwear trying to do laundry at some laundromat. Why on earth my father knows this information is beyond me. Why he had to torment my poor visual cortex with that I'll never know either. Eeesh...:P Tuesday, 05-Aug-2003 7:00 PM Hello boys. I came across this in the 'noticeboard' section of our university newletter and thought it was so amusing, I decided to take it home with me: Wanted: Someone to mark my first-year essays Bored and disillusioned lecturer seeks someone - anyone - to mark my first year essays. I don't think I can make it through another semester of spelling mistakes, nonsensical sentences and unsubstantiated rants about 'discourse'. You know what my first thought was? Hello, you're the lecturer, you set the outlines :P Most students would be more than happy to have essays taken out of the assessment for the course :P I thought yesterday was crazy...tonight I had my friends go places they never went before. Had my pubic bone and and pubic tubercle and all those good bits down below palpated by Reebok and Bushpig. My my my my my. I am super ticklish, which only made things worse and made for more attempts at the palpation. Then when it came my turn, Bushpig was more than happy to yank his pants down. I didn't know men wore 'hipster' undies. I also didn't know how hairy some people can be :P More than half the class left because they didn't want to strip down to their underwear etc. Not that I did..since I was wearing gym pants and not jeans, like everyone else (making it easy to palpate through). Ahh.. I wonder what's in store tomorrow. Monday, 04-Aug-2003 Anterior Coccyx Ahh it's been a long three days. The entire weekend was spent at a hotel in Darling Harbour attending a chiro seminar. It was great! I'm glad I lugged my butt into going, even if it cost me $225 dollars to attend. Worth it though. I mean, the only thing I can complain about is not having gotten my weekend to lounge around and do nothing :) Not that I ever really have time to be doing that, but I relish my weekends and getting to sleep in. No such luck as I had to wake up earlier than normal to get into the city. We have a parking card right in Chinatown but the place didn't open until 8:30am and I was there at 8am so I had to park on the street (ticket parking) and destroy my poor heels by walking super fast back there from the hotel to re-park my car two hours later. Ahh, don't you just love wearing shoes you rarely wear and then having to run because you're late. Mmm blisters galore. I rushed home on Saturday to watch Australian Idol and The Mole and stupidly realised it's on a Sunday. So yeah, I wasted all last night watching those shows. Not enough sleep today :) Had to do over 30 situps at 8:30am in the morning for our Rehab class..not happy :P I cannot do a sit-up. I can do all the strength tests and endurance tests for the abdominals but I cannot do a proper sit-up without my feet lifting up, which constitutes a FAIL. :( And all this time I thought I was doing it right and my feet lifted because my legs were too light or something. Damn that I can't use that excuse anymore:P So the last thing we learned in class today was about anterior coccyxs and having to give an internal anal adjustment. In short, it involves a glove, lubrication and slow repetitive 'shearing' movements in an upward direction. Friday, 01-Aug-2003 6:58 PM Stupidity, skiing and the excitement of strangers. Someone signed this in the comments section at Stacy's site and I just thought...what the eff?! Who IS this girl?? First she sounds like such a gold-digger and then what she says at the end...eeeek! She's crazy! As someone who lives in Hong Kong currently, the biggest race here that white guys marry are filipinos. Technically, filipino maids. I would like to marry a caucasion living in asia even though i'm asian cause they wouldn't bein asia unless they were FACKING rich. so i want to marry one of them expats so i will be super rich too. oh and eurasian kids are pretty so i will have beautiful children. yes, that is a plan. oh and it bugs me when ppl call us orientals. in england, ppl there are slow and refer to anyone who's not indian (asian to them) as oriental and i find it offensive. and i want to kill them whenever they say it. but then i dont cause i have good temper control. I ran again today after I got home. The sun was still out and so I decided to run in shorts. Baaaad idea. If I were a guy, I'd have icicles on my nuts! Today was...well kind of weird. Mr Confident paused in mid-sentence and told me I looked 'smooth' today. Eh? Just before my tutorial, I was heading towards where my car was parked because I left my towel in there and we needed them to do wing-lifts (a type of adjustment) and while I was walking up these steps, I noticed this guy walking toward me. He asked me where the chiro buildings were and I tried to show him and told him I do chiro as well. He and this group of people were from the rival school in Melbourne and they just wanted to have a look around. So they waited there for me while I went to my car and got my towel. I walked with them over to the chiro buildings, pointed out the library on the way (I felt like I was giving a university tour) and showed them the skills rooms and the admin area. People were staring at me :) I'm surprised how much I talked and how friendly I seemed. It was weird..I mean, even this girl in my year spoke to me and she NEVER does. It seems she purposely ignores me most the time. They seemed really impressed with our equipment. I'm surprised. I thought they had better facilities and a more organised course. Anyhow, I left them cause I had class. Ahh class...one of the tutors walk in and it's the first time I've been in class with him as a tutor since last semester. He seemed excited to see me and we talked like old friends for a few minutes. He asked how I went in my exam and I said I did really well and I should be kissing his feet or something (since he was my examiner). He didn't remember though :P He mentioned being completely out of it that day after having had to examine so many students. I said I didn't really deserve what I got and he was saying how he's seen me do great before anyway. Hmm..I'm now wondering if he's mixing me up with someone else. Still, at times I almost feel like we're flirting or something. When class was over, I was walking towards my car and I passed one of the guys in my course (who was actually in the last class with me). Not sure if I mentioned him before. Norwegian. Nice guy. We say hi and talk a bit from time to time when we bump into each other but other than that, we're not like super great pals or anything. He asked me to that party a few months ago (and didn't invite my friend who was sitting right next to me at the time). So we're both walking towards the parking lot and out of the blue he asks me if I want to go skiing. Next weekend. Says I really should come. There'll be about 8 people going. Now I'm confused. Because months ago I was wondering if he liked me or something. Then I passed it off as him just being a really nice guy. But err...if he was a really nice guy, why would he invite me to come to a party and not my friend? And that was months ago when he knew me even less than he does now (which by the way, is not any much more than before). The crazy thing is...I got excited. I want to go skiing. Ahh what am I doing?! This comes at such a bad time too. Meaning last night ended pretty horribly for me. I guess because Salami has been sick the past few days he hasn't emailed as much etc and it was getting to me. I mean, it seems I go out of my way to talk to him because I desperately want to. Always. I email, although the content is usually crap, all the time and two days ago I was telling him I emailed twice that day and he said he knew. Not a single reply. Hmph. Usually I wait for him to get to work and we talk a little bit. Last night though, he was about 40 minutes late because someone at work was talking to him nonstop and then he said he was going to study and left abruptly. I guess that was my breaking point. I started thinking...what is this? What am I doing? I don't need this. I don't need him. Ahh but I do :( and I'm glad there was an apology waiting for me when I got up. Still though, I'd love to go skiing. I wonder what he'll think. |
